


Tell Her This

by MeredithBrody



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-12
Updated: 2013-09-12
Packaged: 2017-12-26 09:45:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/964488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeredithBrody/pseuds/MeredithBrody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trip thinks about his current issues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell Her This

**Author's Note:**

> This was written and set to the song "Tell Her This" by Del Amitri.

Sometimes there was nothing he could do besides run away. That had always been his problem. He had run away to stop himself from falling too hard and that was what he had done this time. Again. He'd done it somehow with his last three interests, and he hadn't regretted them at all like he did this time.

Maybe it was harder because they served on the same ship, he couldn't actually run. So instead he avoided her. He tried not to bring too much attention to what he was doing or to the fact he was trying to make sure they weren't teamed up for anything together. The relationship had begun so simply, and it seemed to have snuck up on them both. He knew he certainly hadn't planned on starting anything with her, and he was pretty sure that she had felt the same.

A few months earlier they had started spending a lot of time together. He was reeling from his losses and she was still battling the effects of the Xindi holding her, and her year of confidence building in the light that she had done what she needed to do to help her crew protect Earth. The nights had got longer, and the number of times he woke up with his arms around her had increased exponentially. Until now more than a year after this had begun he wasn't even sure where their nights ended and began.

Three nights ago he had changed it all. They had been laid watching a movie and talking, like they did most nights, and he'd leant forward and kissed her. She hadn't backed away, and she hadn't stopped him. That night was probably their first and last experience together. Not because she had had a problem, but because his mind wouldn't stop reminding him of all of his past failures. He knew there were things he shouldn't dwell on, but he couldn't seem to stop himself right now. He was still lost in his thoughts when he realised someone had sat down with him. He blinked a few times and realised Malcolm was talking to him.

"Hoshi's looking for you. Says you've been avoiding her." He cut straight to the point, something Trip had always admired about the British lieutenant, but today it hit him harder than usual, and he wondered if Hoshi had told Malcolm his reasons for avoiding her.

"You know why?" He asked, his curiosity getting the better of him. He knew that it was probably a bad question, maybe even one that was more than a little out of order. But Malcolm just smiled and shook his head.

"From the way Hoshi blushed, I have an idea." Was that a sign Hoshi regretted their tryst, or that she wanted another. How would he ever know if he didn't ask her? How would he ever convince her that he hadn't hidden because he was ashamed? He had too much to say, so many reasons to give, and none of them seemed right in his mind.

"I don't know what to tell her. Do I tell her that I think too much, but don't say what I'm thinking, to anyone. Do I tell her that I'm terrified that I'll let her down." He frowned and picked up the last bit of his food before he looked at Malcolm again. "How do I tell her that after all this time I'm finally ready to take the fall and it's for her, not when I've already fucked up."

"I don't think you fucked up, Trip. She seemed concerned." Malcolm looked concerned, for his friends if nothing else, and that was something at least that Trip could understand.

"She's more than I deserve. I've not exactly been the nicest person the last few years. I'm thinking over what I want you to tell her." He groaned and dropped his head to his hands, glad that the mess was almost completely empty, as it often was when the senior officers were having a pow-wow. That was what they had going for them he knew that. At least the conversation would be private.

Malcolm kept quite for a while, and then prompted Trip again once a few minutes and half of his meal had gone. "Have you thought of anything?"

He sighed and opened his arms. "Tell her that she shouldn't cry, tell her that I'll be there, she just has to call me." That was the truth. No matter where they were in the universe, if Hoshi called him and said she needed help he would try to find her and help her, no matter what happened. That didn't explain his current predicament, and apparently Malcolm picked up on that too.

"Why should I tell her you're avoiding her?"

"Tell her I'm scared." He admitted honestly. Not really sure if he knew what else he could say. Malcolm didn't seem to be content with that, and pressed again. Forcing Trip to keep thinking.

"Anything else?"

"Tell her not to go anywhere, tell her that all I want to do is kiss her, and that I'll tell her all of this in person." He stood up suddenly, and Malcolm looked up a little surprised, then smiled in his usual crooked way. There was something that Trip had realised. It shouldn't matter what he wanted to tell her, that one was the most important one. He just wanted her.

"I'll see you later." Malcolm replied as Trip clapped his hand on the shoulder, already making his way to the door and thinking what he was going to possibly tell Hoshi to make up for the last few days. He knew there was a lot he needed to tell her, even if the words were too hard for him to think up. The last time he put himself on the line nothing had worked out well, and he'd ended up more broken-hearted than he already had been. In trying to tell Malcolm what to tell her, Trip had realised what he needed to tell her. He'd just tell her this.


End file.
